A New Day

"Last post October 2, 2009." Whoa. There's almost as much dust on this thing as there is on my window sills...almost. I quit writing simply because I felt I was too boring, I had nothing that anyone would want to read, so I gave up. Story of my mother effin' life. I am the ultimate giver-upper, if it was a sport, I'd be a gold medalist. I'm not bragging, I know this isn't a good thing, just stating the facts. This is my problem, well one of my problems at least. Also, I am a very insecure person who worries what everyone else thinks about me, the things I say, the things I don't say, the things I do, and the things I don't do. I don't love myself the way I should. I don't embrace myself and my good qualities like I should. I constantly focus on what I think is wrong and it becomes an obssession. So not good right? I decided that I'm going to write for me. Because I have always loved to write and I think that I need this right now. A place to get my feelings out, to work through them. So what if no one reads this? So what if someone does and rolls their eyes like, biatch what do you have to complain about or why are you writing about this or that? It won't always be about what's wrong but what's so right with my life. The things and people I have, that I am so grateful and lucky to have in my life. I'm currently working on fixing myself. This past year or so (especially the past few months) I have struggled with my "issues" and it has affected activities and relationships with those I love. To them I offer a heartfelt and sincere apology with a plea to not give up on me. I know that I am probably very frustrating right now and dealing with me while dealing with their own lives may seem like too much so I also say thank you. Thank you for being there for me and most of all, thank you from the bottom of my heart for loving me all the times that I have not been able to love myself. xoxoxo