Dear Bella,
I was inspired today by Heather (thespohrsaremulitplying.com) to write you a letter. I have thought about and intended to do it countless other times but after reading Heather's letter, I made myself sit down and do it.
Finding out I was pregnant with you was the most exhilarating and terrifying day of my life (before birthing you out and then realizing that it was mine and your father's sole responsibility to keep you alive and teach you to be a wonderful human being, but I digress). We had been TTC for four months to no avail when I finally got TWO fabulous pink lines after I peed on that little stick. You weren't a surprise but it was still scary. It was real, it was happening: I was going to have a baby!
You were a pretty good lil fetus, I must say. Only once did I throw up even though I felt like I was for most if the day but it wasn't too horrible. I enjoyed being pregnant. Eating whatever I wanted, no sucking in my stomach and feeling/then seeing you move around in there was amazing. That day in February when we found out you were a girl...the happiness is indescribable. We went shopping right after the appointment and bought your bedding, some room decor and of course, clothes and a fab pair of leopard print mary janes. We named you that day too, after months of arguing, your daddy really did like Isabella Marie but enjoyed fighting with me too much to say so. :/
The pregnancy progressed and it got time for you to arrive. You decided to fashionably late by 2 days and after being induced, you were born and I was exhausted yet over the moon to finally see your little face. You were/are the most beautiful baby I have ever seen (I'm not biased or anything lol) and immediately I fell more in love with you then I ever thought possible.
This past year has been crazy for your daddy and I but having you has made all those things seem so insignificant. How can I look at you and not smile? Unless you are doing that dinosaur-like scream as you roll around on the floor...ok, even that makes me laugh at first. You have taught me so much. I'm finding my inner child again as I get down to play and giggle with you. I see you in awe of things that I have come to not even notice anymore and it brings me back, makes me slow down and truly appreciate the little things in life.
Now it's not always easy being a mother and I know that patience is a virtue that you are still working on with me. But for you, I want to be the best mother I can. To give you the love I had as a child and more. To give you anything your heart desires and to show you that you can do anything you set your mind too, you are that awesome.
I'm in awe of this person growing right in front of my eyes. Every day you learn new things and it's with delight and pride that I watch you practice your new skills. I could watch you for hours. You are becoming more and more independent and I can't believe how big you are! You aren't an infant anymore, you are a toddler. My eyes well up when I think of how fast this year went but I know that I enjoyed it all and would do it again in a heartbeat.
I'm going to end this now even though I could go on all day about how great you are and how much I love you.
Bella Boo, you made me a mom. Thank you. I love you with my whole heart and then some baby girl.
xoxoxoxo,
Mommy
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
Bella turns 1....this post in SUPER late
As you can see, not only am I a slacker, I am lazy. Just pics, no real post. :) Bella had a great time at her birthday extravaganza. She jumped, swam, played with her buddies, ate tacos and had cake for the very first time. Her ladybug cake made her look like a zombie who just got done feasting on some brains but whatever. She got many wonderful gifts and celebrated her day with some fabulous people. I still can't believe she's one. ::sighs::
Monday, July 6, 2009
A year and a few days ago
I planned to write this on Saturday, July 4, 2009 but I didn't have a chance so today wins.
One year ago from said Saturday, this is what I was doing:
Getting my maternity pictures done by the fabulous Bestie Jenn (http://www.littlefishphotography.blogspot.com/). It wasn't typical 4th of July doings but who cares? I was so excited to have these done, something to show my daughter when she got older. Look how happy your mommy and daddy were to be having you and how excited they were to meet you! We were doing the baby countdown. I was 38 1/2 weeks pregnant, hoping, ok sometimes praying, to go into labor. I loved being pregnant 98% of the time but by this point in time I was huge, Bella was moving internal organs, and it was so, so hot. I was ready. Bestie Jenn showed up and we had a great time. No fuss, no muss just enjoyed the morning, getting our picture taken. She got so many great shots, it was hard to believe this was her first maternity shoot.
She had some great ideas and also let me get creative too. She was even kind enough to lend me her sunglasses.
One year ago from said Saturday, this is what I was doing:
Getting my maternity pictures done by the fabulous Bestie Jenn (http://www.littlefishphotography.blogspot.com/). It wasn't typical 4th of July doings but who cares? I was so excited to have these done, something to show my daughter when she got older. Look how happy your mommy and daddy were to be having you and how excited they were to meet you! We were doing the baby countdown. I was 38 1/2 weeks pregnant, hoping, ok sometimes praying, to go into labor. I loved being pregnant 98% of the time but by this point in time I was huge, Bella was moving internal organs, and it was so, so hot. I was ready. Bestie Jenn showed up and we had a great time. No fuss, no muss just enjoyed the morning, getting our picture taken. She got so many great shots, it was hard to believe this was her first maternity shoot.She had some great ideas and also let me get creative too. She was even kind enough to lend me her sunglasses.
Afterwards, we went and had some lunch at our favorite lil mexican joint. It was a fabulous day. I absolutely treasure these pictures and Bestie Jenn for taking them. Isn't she talented? Makes me wanna have another baby just to take some more. LOL Did I just say that? ;)
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Nephew!
My new, super gorgeous nephew is here! Check him out!
Deivered via c-section on Sunday June 7th, 2009 at 11:12 am, Mr. Blake Robert is 8 lbs. 1 0z of deliciousness! He is also 21 inches long, he has cute, chubby cheeks and reddish-blondie hair. Couldn't you just die? I did.
Congrats little sis, you did great! You too Bobby! I love all three of you!
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
Loss
Three years ago today, my Papa. He was so kind, selfless and funny. He gave and gave even when he didn't have anything left to give. Generous and loving from his head to his toes. Anything to make the people he loved happy. He loved my Nana more then I've ever seen someone love another human being. So when she died on December 10, 2005 he couldn't live without her. He got sick two weeks later, was in the hospital one month later, in the ICU a month after that and in and out of the hospital the next few months and a final ICU stay a few days before we brought him home to die. He made himself live til after my wedding and my honeymoon and then my sister's birthday. He walked (with my father on the other arm) me down the aisle and gave me away. In May, he decided he didn't want to be in the hospital where the IV meds he was being given could only be given to him there, in the ICU. I think he thought he had more time then he really had. He came home on a Tuesday and died in his sleep around 2 am that Saturday as I slept on the couch across from his hospital bed that the home hospice people provided.
I remember being sad but I also remember being relieved. He had been in so much pain, so scared and hardly able to breathe, confined to the downstairs couch for months. He missed my Nana so much he could hardly stand it. Now they are together and that makes me smile even though I wish they were together, here, with me and my family.
I have a picture of me sitting on his lap with a book. He's wearing mickey mouse ears and I'm in footie pajamas.. I think I'm 2-3 years old. I gave it to him the Christmas right after my Nana died, the most painful Christmas I've ever experienced. That picture now sits on my daughter's book case in her room. One day I will tell her all the wonderful things about her great-grandparents and I will raise her the way they raised me. Instill in her the values and morals that they instilled in me. She will know them.
I also lost another beloved family member on this day last year: My Great-Grandma Rich, my Nana's mother. She was 93 years old and still out there with her boyfriend Milo, singing and dancing at the "old folks" home. She got sick with what they thought was pneumonia at first and then discovered it was cancer. She was hospitalized then moved to a hospice where she died a few days after me (and Bella in utero), Joe and my sister visited her. It happened so fast (within a few weeks), it stunned us all, especially Milo. They had been together for over 20 years. She was his life and it broke my heart to see him lose her. She was so funny and talented. She was very into her appearance so we had to put her makeup on when we visited her and again when she passed away. She asked us the first time and we knew she'd have it no other way after she died. I miss her very much. I brought her a 3-D ultrasound pic of Bella and she cried. She put her hand on my swollen belly and cried. She knew she wouldn't get to meet her. But Bella will know her just like her great-parents.
I try not to be sad but it's hard some days. It will just hit me that they are all gone and it takes my breath away. That I can't just drive over to see them or pick up the phone to talk to them. To know that Bella will never meet them absolutely breaks my heart. Some times I feel like I'm not whole. But I know that, one day, we'll be together again and that they are watching over us.
R.I.P Jeri (Papa) Tiley and Wilma (Great-Grandma) Rich. We miss you so very much.
I remember being sad but I also remember being relieved. He had been in so much pain, so scared and hardly able to breathe, confined to the downstairs couch for months. He missed my Nana so much he could hardly stand it. Now they are together and that makes me smile even though I wish they were together, here, with me and my family.
I have a picture of me sitting on his lap with a book. He's wearing mickey mouse ears and I'm in footie pajamas.. I think I'm 2-3 years old. I gave it to him the Christmas right after my Nana died, the most painful Christmas I've ever experienced. That picture now sits on my daughter's book case in her room. One day I will tell her all the wonderful things about her great-grandparents and I will raise her the way they raised me. Instill in her the values and morals that they instilled in me. She will know them.
I also lost another beloved family member on this day last year: My Great-Grandma Rich, my Nana's mother. She was 93 years old and still out there with her boyfriend Milo, singing and dancing at the "old folks" home. She got sick with what they thought was pneumonia at first and then discovered it was cancer. She was hospitalized then moved to a hospice where she died a few days after me (and Bella in utero), Joe and my sister visited her. It happened so fast (within a few weeks), it stunned us all, especially Milo. They had been together for over 20 years. She was his life and it broke my heart to see him lose her. She was so funny and talented. She was very into her appearance so we had to put her makeup on when we visited her and again when she passed away. She asked us the first time and we knew she'd have it no other way after she died. I miss her very much. I brought her a 3-D ultrasound pic of Bella and she cried. She put her hand on my swollen belly and cried. She knew she wouldn't get to meet her. But Bella will know her just like her great-parents.
I try not to be sad but it's hard some days. It will just hit me that they are all gone and it takes my breath away. That I can't just drive over to see them or pick up the phone to talk to them. To know that Bella will never meet them absolutely breaks my heart. Some times I feel like I'm not whole. But I know that, one day, we'll be together again and that they are watching over us.
R.I.P Jeri (Papa) Tiley and Wilma (Great-Grandma) Rich. We miss you so very much.
Trying to catch up
Ok, ok, it's official: I suck at blogging. It's been almost a month since I last posted....bad Tricia. No reason really...I've been a bit busy: I blog at work because at home I don't have the time unless Bella is sleeping and then I have to catch up on all the other things I need to do, like watch my recorded General Hospitals, ahem, I mean do laundry and clean the house. So this poor blog gets neglected and I get instant messages from my little sister harassing me about my inability to keep this thing updated. Jerk. :D
So what's been going on this past month? Why, I'd love to fill you in!
Chrissy-poo and fam were here from March 26th to May 13th. I finally got to meet Hanna-poo and Chrissy got to meet Bella. It was so awesome! Hanna is even more beautiful in person. I tried to spend as much time as possible with them. We went to the San Diego Zoo with the kids and the hubbies and had a great time. I wish they didn't have to go back but I know they will be back home for good soon and I can't wait!
Bella: Growing like a weed. She had a dr. appointment on the 12th of May and is 18.9 pounds and 29 inches tall. Good lord that child is long! Doc says that she is still a bit tall for her age and that she is super healthy. Exactly what I like to hear. Bella took her first steps on April 27th! She took them for my mother-in-law (another reason it kills me to have to go to work but those are my issues) and then delightedly repeatedly them for Joe and I. She's getting more and more confident and I think she'll be walking or running around soon. Good thing we got that baby jail! She's trying to say annie, our dog's name and has several meanings for "BA!" Her book, her bottle and her ball. But you always know which one she wants. She amazes me with how smart she is. You can ask her "Bella, where is the big, red doggie?" And she will go and get her Clifford the Big Red Dog book and thump it. Unless you're at Bestie Jenn's, then she makes you look like a liar. She has the best personality and thinks that everyone is her friend. Don't take her anywhere if you want it to be quick. She says hi to everyone. Love her. Bella also likes to bite my feet and can hardly get her mouth on my foot before she dissolves in hysterical laughter. I made the mistake of squealing in surprise the first time she did it so she tries to do it all the time. Crazy kid.
My sister had her baby shower and it went really well if I do say so myself. They are really loved by so many amazing people and were given so many great gifts. I was so happy and am so grateful to everyone. We played some games, ate yummy food and just chit chatted with friends and family, all there to celebrate my nephew's impending arrival. Speaking of that: My sis was given a date to induce, June 7th, 2009 but we're all hoping (esp. her) that he comes sooner. I can't wait to meet my nephew! Little sister also turned 23 on the 12th and got engaged! I'm so happy for her!
My little brother found out he's having a little boy and is thrilled beyond belief. Ryder Joshua is his name and I can't believe I'm going to have 2 more nephews this year! I say 2 more because two of my bestie's are having boys too!
Actually, one bestie had her baby early! Russell Gunner (Mr. Gunn as I like to call him) was born on April 29th, 2009 (the day before her and her twin sister's 25th birthday) after 4 1/2 hours of labor and 10 minutes of pushing...don't you want to punch her?? She's so having my next baby. Mama and baby are great and gorgeous. I'm anxious to meet the lil fella.
I fell off the diet wagon right after my pat myself on the back post went up but luckily I haven't gained too much of the 3 poundies back. I'm trying to jog on my days off but it's so goddamn hot that I have to do it super early or melt like the wicked witch. So my happy ass is up at 5:30 am, huffin and puffin around my neighborhood after I have spent ten minutes convincing myself to get up. I've gone twice...I need new shoes, my old ones are so not working for me anymore. But I actually enjoy myself. It's really peaceful. The sun isn't up and there aren't a lot of people driving around. It's the only way to get the belly pooch off but I really love sleep. We'll see how this goes.
My nephew baby B turned 1 on the 11th and so did Miss Kennedy! I didn't make it to her birthday party on the 9th but heard is was a nice day. Baby B had his party the same day and we all went to Chuck E Cheese. I hadn't been there in so long, that place is really expensive! After a few hours there, we went back to grandma and grandpa's for swimming, cake and presents. Bella fell out of the pool and we both cried but she was ok. Baby B had a great birthday. I can't believe he's 1 already!
Bestie Jenn's niece turned 1 on Monday, so a happy birthday shout out is in order: Happy Birthday Zoey! All these babies turning one so fast, including Bella Boo who's birthday is coming up so fast I can hardly stand it.
We went and saw Bestie Jenn and her hubby last Saturday and that was nice. They made us lunch and Jenn and I went to our favorite place, Target, and wandered around happily for an hour. It's nice to be out without a baby sometimes. Especially if I am out with someone so great. :)
Oh! I learned something very important that Saturday night: DO NOT DRINK BARTELS & JAMES WINECOOLERS!!! Some things are best left in high school. Ick.
Ok, I mostly caught up...I think. If I missed anyone or anything, I apologize....my brain was being nice letting me remember this much. xoxoxo
So what's been going on this past month? Why, I'd love to fill you in!
Chrissy-poo and fam were here from March 26th to May 13th. I finally got to meet Hanna-poo and Chrissy got to meet Bella. It was so awesome! Hanna is even more beautiful in person. I tried to spend as much time as possible with them. We went to the San Diego Zoo with the kids and the hubbies and had a great time. I wish they didn't have to go back but I know they will be back home for good soon and I can't wait!
Bella: Growing like a weed. She had a dr. appointment on the 12th of May and is 18.9 pounds and 29 inches tall. Good lord that child is long! Doc says that she is still a bit tall for her age and that she is super healthy. Exactly what I like to hear. Bella took her first steps on April 27th! She took them for my mother-in-law (another reason it kills me to have to go to work but those are my issues) and then delightedly repeatedly them for Joe and I. She's getting more and more confident and I think she'll be walking or running around soon. Good thing we got that baby jail! She's trying to say annie, our dog's name and has several meanings for "BA!" Her book, her bottle and her ball. But you always know which one she wants. She amazes me with how smart she is. You can ask her "Bella, where is the big, red doggie?" And she will go and get her Clifford the Big Red Dog book and thump it. Unless you're at Bestie Jenn's, then she makes you look like a liar. She has the best personality and thinks that everyone is her friend. Don't take her anywhere if you want it to be quick. She says hi to everyone. Love her. Bella also likes to bite my feet and can hardly get her mouth on my foot before she dissolves in hysterical laughter. I made the mistake of squealing in surprise the first time she did it so she tries to do it all the time. Crazy kid.
My sister had her baby shower and it went really well if I do say so myself. They are really loved by so many amazing people and were given so many great gifts. I was so happy and am so grateful to everyone. We played some games, ate yummy food and just chit chatted with friends and family, all there to celebrate my nephew's impending arrival. Speaking of that: My sis was given a date to induce, June 7th, 2009 but we're all hoping (esp. her) that he comes sooner. I can't wait to meet my nephew! Little sister also turned 23 on the 12th and got engaged! I'm so happy for her!
My little brother found out he's having a little boy and is thrilled beyond belief. Ryder Joshua is his name and I can't believe I'm going to have 2 more nephews this year! I say 2 more because two of my bestie's are having boys too!
Actually, one bestie had her baby early! Russell Gunner (Mr. Gunn as I like to call him) was born on April 29th, 2009 (the day before her and her twin sister's 25th birthday) after 4 1/2 hours of labor and 10 minutes of pushing...don't you want to punch her?? She's so having my next baby. Mama and baby are great and gorgeous. I'm anxious to meet the lil fella.
I fell off the diet wagon right after my pat myself on the back post went up but luckily I haven't gained too much of the 3 poundies back. I'm trying to jog on my days off but it's so goddamn hot that I have to do it super early or melt like the wicked witch. So my happy ass is up at 5:30 am, huffin and puffin around my neighborhood after I have spent ten minutes convincing myself to get up. I've gone twice...I need new shoes, my old ones are so not working for me anymore. But I actually enjoy myself. It's really peaceful. The sun isn't up and there aren't a lot of people driving around. It's the only way to get the belly pooch off but I really love sleep. We'll see how this goes.
My nephew baby B turned 1 on the 11th and so did Miss Kennedy! I didn't make it to her birthday party on the 9th but heard is was a nice day. Baby B had his party the same day and we all went to Chuck E Cheese. I hadn't been there in so long, that place is really expensive! After a few hours there, we went back to grandma and grandpa's for swimming, cake and presents. Bella fell out of the pool and we both cried but she was ok. Baby B had a great birthday. I can't believe he's 1 already!
Bestie Jenn's niece turned 1 on Monday, so a happy birthday shout out is in order: Happy Birthday Zoey! All these babies turning one so fast, including Bella Boo who's birthday is coming up so fast I can hardly stand it.
We went and saw Bestie Jenn and her hubby last Saturday and that was nice. They made us lunch and Jenn and I went to our favorite place, Target, and wandered around happily for an hour. It's nice to be out without a baby sometimes. Especially if I am out with someone so great. :)
Oh! I learned something very important that Saturday night: DO NOT DRINK BARTELS & JAMES WINECOOLERS!!! Some things are best left in high school. Ick.
Ok, I mostly caught up...I think. If I missed anyone or anything, I apologize....my brain was being nice letting me remember this much. xoxoxo
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Shopping
Yesterday Bella and I went shopping. This is not unusual. I love, love, LOVE to shop, to spend money, buying stuff rocks. What's unusual is that we went to the Moreno Valley Mall and that I bought a bathing suit that I love and feel so good in. I used to go to the Mo.Val Mall all the time when I lived in good ole Perris but after moving to Sun City and then Menifee, Temecula is so much closer and (at the time) so much nicer. Now Temecula is still super nice but I was pleasantly surprised to see that Mo.Val is comin' up. I had been there two weeks before with Chrissy-poo and fam but wasn't paying too much attention. I mean, I noticed it was nicer but I am not very observant these days. Bella and I got there before it opened so we took a quick tour while we waited. It looked really nice and had a bunch of new stores including the best mall shoe store I've seen in awhile. I'm going to be visiting there often I'm sure. Anywho, Victoria Secret finally opened and we went in to investigate the bathing suits. Now, I don't even like shopping for suits when I'm in shape so I was definitely dreading the post-baby trying on. I had been on a diet but as usual, I fell off the wagon. I didn't even attempt a two piece. Instead I opted for a one piece that covered the danger zone (middle of my tummy) but was open in the back and on the sides. Stylish and bit sexy, not frumpy old lady one piece. I grabbed a few sizes and styles and headed back to the fitting rooms, Bella in tow. Best fitting rooms I have ever been in! Big enough that Bella in her stroller could come in and I still had plenty of room and the soft lighting was fabulous! I think I will go try all my clothes on there. I tried on the first suit, so not cute and it made me not want to try on the second. But it was a different style so I made myself. It was great! In no way did I look like Adrianna Lima but I was happy and felt confident. My sister-in-law gave me a gift card that she wasn't going to use the rest of and I had a coupon for 10 bucks off so my lovely bathing suit was....drum roll please...$14.52! AND I got a free tote bag!
A cute, flattering, affordable new bathing suit and a free tote bag? Awesome.
Bella enjoyed her mall trip, getting a teething biscuit all over herself and her dress. It was gross looking and I had a hell of a time cleaning her up but it was her 9 month birthday and she was happy so whatever.
I am busy, busy getting ready for my little sister's baby shower this Saturday. I need to clean, make that scrub the dirtball I call my house, shop for a few last minute items and food and then I'll be ready. I can't wait, it's pirate themed and it's going to be super fun! Arg!
A cute, flattering, affordable new bathing suit and a free tote bag? Awesome.
Bella enjoyed her mall trip, getting a teething biscuit all over herself and her dress. It was gross looking and I had a hell of a time cleaning her up but it was her 9 month birthday and she was happy so whatever.
I am busy, busy getting ready for my little sister's baby shower this Saturday. I need to clean, make that scrub the dirtball I call my house, shop for a few last minute items and food and then I'll be ready. I can't wait, it's pirate themed and it's going to be super fun! Arg!
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