Breasts.Boobies. Titties. Chee-Chees. The girls. Tommy and Chuckie as one weird girl on my HS cheer squad called em. I always wanted some. Except when it was bra buying day and I made my Nana carry the bag around the mall because I just knew people would know I had a bra in there and that made me really embarrassed for some reason. (side note: I did the same thing when I started my period. I didn't buy my own "supplies" til I was out of high school).
I was a nearly A (that's right, NEARLY A) when I was 13, an A cup when I was a freshman and then sophomore year I made it to a B cup. I happily announced that to anyone who happened to say hello to me. It was a big deal! I had boobs! Sorta. I stayed a steady 34 B til I got pregnant when I was 23. I was so excited! Yeah the baby was great news but I was almost equally as stoked for the awesome boobs I envisioned myself with! Sorry kid. ;)
I was 14 weeks along when my little sister looked up as I was changing my shirt for our trip to the mall and said, "You need a new bra."
Me: "I do?" I was surprised. I honestly didn't feel like I had grown enough to need a new bra. I was only 14 weeks.
Sister: "Your boobs are about to fall out of your bra!"
Me: "Ok, let's make a stop at VS when we get to the mall and I'll get measured."
Off we went to the mall and low and behold the VS sales lady measured me and announced "36 D."
My jaw hit the floor. 36D?! I thought I'd have to get a boob job to get those size boobies! I did a victory dance right then and there and called my hubby to report the joyous news: I had boobs! Big ones too! My sis even bought me a new bra. She's awesome like that.
I reveled in my new additions. Low cut tops? Check. Push up bra? Check. Bending over so anyone could get an eyeful, wanted or not? Double check!
After delivery was even better. Milk boobs. And after my stomach went down(still fat but not preggo) they looked even bigger. I breastfed for 3 1/2 months before my milk dried up and not only did I feel bad for not being able to feed my kid the nutriousness that is breast milk, I wasn't ready to go back to little boobs. So I bought a 36 C bra and wore that for awhile as my boobs started to shrink. Then that bra no longer fit but my old bras didn't fit either (hello post-pregnancy back fat!) so I just wore that one til my husband told me "I can see down to your belly button, the gap between your bra and your boob is so big." Jerk. But he was a correct jerk. On went the 34 B, a lil tight in the back but fit in the front. I just wore (ok wear) a stretchy spaghetti strap tank top under any non-flowy top to help disguise the roll.
My daughter is 14 months old and a month ago I came out in a tank top sans bra and my aunt was sitting on the couch. She looked up and exclaimed, "You really DON'T have any boobs!"
Me: crosses arms over non-existent chest, "Gee, thanks."
Family. Always there to knock ya down a peg.
Then, like two weeks ago, I noticed a gap in my bra. Are. you. freaking. kidding. me??????? Goddamn you Mother Nature! You're a thief! You're not supposed to take what little I had to begin with! It's not right! It's not fair!!
::throws herself on the floor and cries::
Anywho, the moral of the story is: Mother Nature is a shiesty bitch. You can tell her I said that.
